From the Banana Lounge on Sonia's Balcony
by Sonia
Summary: What happens when Warner Bros cartoons, Doctor Who and Water Rats collide? This does!


From the Banana Lounge on Sonia's Balcony

By Sonia

Category: Serious comedy with a little steam. Also a cross over.

Timeframe: Where does this fit into the series? Which series? What show? Basically, it doesn't. It is the fourth in the "From The" Series. The first installments came from Cammy, Julia and Jaye.

Summary: What does a rubber duck, Tweety, the TARDIS and Frank reading his horoscope have in common? They're all in this latest instalment of the "From The" series. 

Disclaimer: Hal owns the Water Rats and Blue Heelers crew, Warner Bros. Animation, BBC/ABC, Lucasfilm and Paramount own the rest. Just borrowing them folks and will return everyone to their rightful owners once I'm done. I'll return Rat and It to their real Mums - Jules and Cammy when I'm through. 

Phew! I'm off early shift for a few days and finally had some decent sleep. Everyone is back from their latest round of time travel adventures and seems totally blissed out. Okay Jaye, you've left me this gizmo to play with. It's time to party.

**********

It was a lazy Sunday in Sydney – the type of morning where you just open the balcony doors, letting the sun and a spring breeze in, lie around the house, reading the papers and drinking coffee.

Frank and Rachel were sprawled on the lounge with the papers strewn over the floor; Rat and It had made a shredded mess of the comics after disagreeing with something Snoopy had said 

"Hey Frank would you hand me the Sunday Life?

"In a minute, I haven't finished reading my stars.

"Shit, you surely don't believe that crap do you?" Rachel took another sip of her coffee 

"With all those strange things that have been going on lately, I'm starting to believe in a lot of things I didn't believe before. My stars reckon more travel is in my future.

"Yeah, right. Bite me."

"Your wish is my command Ms Goldstein."

Zap! 

Flash!

*********

Zap!

Flash! 

"Rat, where are we and where's Mummy and Daddy? 

"Don't know It, let's ask that other cat over there.

"Sufferin' succotash! It's two other pussycats. I'm Sylvester, who are you?

"I'm Rat and that's It. Who or what is that tasty looking morsel in the birdy prison up there?

"That's a tweety bird but you can call it lunch."

Tweety looked down from his cage and saw the three cats huddled around a clipboard with Rat marking out a game plan on a blackboard and calling the plays like a basketball coach.

"Oooh, I tawt I taw three puddy tats! I'm in big twubble now."

Freeze

"Hi Son, got the hang of this thing yet? 

"Yeah Jules, I seem to have misplaced Frank and Rachel though.

"What the mink are you doing with the cats? YOU"VE DONE WHAT WITH FRANK AND RACHEL?

"I thought I had misplaced them but I think I've found them again. Take a look at that screen in the top row."

Play

Zap! Flash!

"Francis James Holloway! Would you bloody well get off me and get stop nibbling my ear for a minute!"

Frank and Rachel looked around them. They were lying on a hill somewhere in the countryside. Only a few hundred yards away was a blue police call box with a light on top. 

They looked at each other and started to laugh. They were almost getting used to this. Although Gavin raving about Paris and Mick muttering about how lovely the Whitsundays were at this time of year when neither of them had any time off to speak of was a little confusing. Maybe the fanfic women had gotten to these guys too. 

Rachel thought of the e-mail she received from Hollywood last night. It was Robert wondering when she was coming to visit again. What was a girl meant to say to that sort of invitation?

She thought about sending Jaye an e-mail to say thanks for the intro. She had a few ideas about where she wanted to go next, if they ever caught up with each other.

"Hey Rach, whoever has the controls of that time travel thingy this time around has at least sent us somewhere on earth this time. Are we still in Australia?

"Um, I think so. Hey there should be a phone over in that police box and we can get Jack or Mick to come and pick us up."

When Frank and Rachel entered the Police Box they realised there was not a phone in sight. The walls of the room were covered in recessed round circles and in the middle of the room there was some sort of large hexagonal control panel with a set of cylinders in the middle.

The room started to make a strange groaning noise and the cylinders in the middle of the control panel started moving up and down. Rachel and Frank made a dive for the doors that had closed firmly behind them.

"Shit Rachel! We're moving! How do you bloody drive this thing?

"Why are you asking me Frank?

"Well you drive everything else don't you?"

Rachel's retort was interrupted by the arrival of a rather tall man with curly hair, wearing a long coat, hat and the longest scarf she and Frank had ever seen. While they couldn't be totally sure, Frank and Rachel thought a small electronic dog followed the man.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor. Have a jelly baby."

Freeze

Sonia started to giggle. The fourth incarnation of Doctor Who and K9 had always been her favourite. There was just something about him – whether he was confronted by the Daleks or vampires, he never lost control and was always offering people jelly babies.

"Ah, Son – where exactly are Frank and Rachel?

"They're in the TARDIS and where they are going is a damn good question because not even the Doctor knows himself.

"The Doctor?

"Yeah, Doctor Who, a rather cool sort of bloke who kept travelling through time and space with various companions including that electronic dog you see on the screen. That's K9. The show used to be on the ABC around 6pm."

Julia nodded, deciding to humour Sonia for a while. She was starting to miss Gavin. Paris had been such fun and that kiss on top of the Eiffel Tower had really burned its way into her brain. Besides, Syksie was such good company as well. Wicked sense of humour, very wicked.

Sonia stretched in her chair and looked over at Jules. Hmm, Julia was looking a little pale and the weather around Sydney hadn't been the greatest lately. She might need some serious fun in the sun.

"Jules, I've got a serious question to ask you?

"Yes?

"Do you own a sarong and believe in wearing really cool flowers in your hair?

Christ, Sonia has had way too much coffee and too little sleep here. Julia wondered what was going to happen next.

"Ah, Sonni what are you planning to do and where are you planning to send me?

"Just stand over there and give my regards to Maui."

Play

***************

Zap! Flash!

Julia strolled along the beach, cocktail in one hand and shoes in the other. Hawaii was really nice at this time of the year. It would be almost perfect if…

"Julia!"

She'd know his voice anywhere.

"Gavin!"

The last time Julia had been hugged like this was on top of the Eiffel Tower. This little outing was going to be fun.

Freeze

"Hey woman, what's happening?

"Jaye, Esme! Glad you could make it. Grab yourself a snack, something to drink and sit back. I've just packed Jules off to Hawaii with Gavin. She is positively purring."

Girlish laughter echoed around the console room.

Jaye brought Esme up to date on the last batch of time travel journeys everyone had been on. Esme looked sort of wistful – this sounded like fun but might just be a little scary.

"Esme, have you been able to catch up on many movies during the holidays?

Esme shook her head, explaining that movies were no fun unless you had someone to share to popcorn and choc-tops with.

Jaye was trying to repair some serious sunburn damage sustained while lying on the deck of the Footloose with Frank. She really hated it when she started to peel.

"Just stand there for a second or two please. Don't worry, you'll be fine. See you in a while."

Play

*************

ZAP! FLASH!

Esme blinked. Where the heck was she? Ah, she was in a movie theatre and Notting Hill was just about to start.

This was a pretty plush sort of theatre. She was curled up in a big lounge chair with plenty of soft drink, popcorn and choc-tops. She felt a decidedly masculine arm slip around her shoulders and gasped.

"Don't worry, I'm friendly. The name's Jack Lawson, and I couldn't help myself, as you're pretty cute. Do you come here often?"

Oh wow, Esme thought, her holiday was really going to be one to remember now.

"Hi I'm Esme, don't worry it's only a nickname. My name's really Erin. I'm just visiting here. And you?

"I was minding my own business and having a beer with PJ in Mount Thomas and the next thing I know I'm in a deserted movie theatre with a gorgeous intelligent girl. I don't care how this happened but I'm glad it did."

Jack put his arm across Esme's shoulders and pulled her closer to him as the opening credits to Notting Hill started. 

Freeze

********************

Jaye and Sonia looked at each other. Esme would be just fine. They decided to leave Esme to her own devices for a while and check on Frank and Rachel.

"Doctor Who, Son?" 

"Yeah, why not? After the Thunderbird experience I think Frank and Rachel need to get a little cultural exchange thing happening here." 

Freeze

Play

The TARDIS materialised on yet another spacecraft in an unnamed time zone. The Doctor, Frank and Rachel ventured from the police box with the faithful K9 rolling close behind.

The corridors seemed relatively quiet until:

"EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE…."

Three Daleks rolled towards The Doctor, Frank and Rachel. 

"Hello, I'm the Doctor, have a jelly baby." The Doctor extended his hand and the ever-present white paper bag of lollies towards the Daleks. 

Laser beams started ricocheting dangerously close to Frank and Rachel. The Doctor broke into a dead run. Frank and Rachel reached for their holsters and realised they had been zapped into this little adventure on a weekend. No Service issue revolver in sight just Daleks trying to kill them. 

"Shit Frank! I want my Glock so I can take these rolling salt and pepper shakers out," Rachel was looking for a fight

"No need for bullets Rach, these guys are easy to deal with. Watch this." Frank ran towards the Daleks like a front row forward on his way to the try line. Getting behind the metal creatures, he waited until they passed one of the few staircases on the spaceship. He marshalled all his strength and shoved the robots down the staircase

He had wanted to destroy the Daleks single-handedly ever since he was a kid. This was fun. Frank turned to Rachel with a particularly masculine grin on his face but Rachel was gone.

Freeze

Sonia started pressing buttons on the control panel. It would not do to have Frank and Rachel exterminated by the Daleks. There was a flash of light in the room and Rachel Goldstein appeared.

"Fraaank! Where are you?

"Hi Rachel, I'm Sonia and I think you know Jaye. I'll be getting Frank away from the Daleks shortly."

"Oh I know you, you're the one who put Frank and I on that tropical island that time. Thanks for that, it was a great holiday and it's one of the few occasions Frank has ever sent me flowers.

The three women did the only thing they could and started laughing at the vagaries of the male mind.

Jaye and Rachel started discussing the e-mail Rachel had received from Robert Redford and the invitation to return to Hollywood anytime she wanted. Sonia went back to trying to get Frank off that bloody space ship.

"Hey Rachel?

"Yes, Sonni?

"Do you feel like catching up with an old friend?"

Rachel caught Sonia's meaning quickly enough and smiled.

Freeze

Zap! Flash!

Rachel Goldstein found her tracksuit pants, running shoes and tee shirt had gone. She was dressed in denim cut-offs and a bikini. A pair of familiar masculine arms was draped around her. They were in a rowboat moored somewhere on the Florida coast.

"Hi Rachel, I didn't think you were coming back this way any time soon," Robert grinned at her

"I'm just finding out that unexpected travel is one of the perks of this job," Rachel turned on her best smile and leaned over to kiss Robert. The rest of the world really didn't matter at that point.

Freeze

"Ping!" The little envelope in the bottom of the computer screen appeared.

"Hey Jaye, it's an e-mail from Cam, she's sick of all the snow and needs to thaw out somewhere. Let me think a minute. Does this thing come with a remote control option where the person you want to send doesn't have to be anywhere near the console?

"Yeah but I didn't get a chance to use it. Do you think Cammy will mind being a guinea pig?"

"Where I'm going to send her, probably not."

Play

ZAP! FLASH!

The desert winds swirled as little flurries of sand tickled Cammy's ankles. She was going to kill Sonia as slowly and as painfully as possible. When she said she wanted somewhere warm that did not mean in the middle of the desert somewhere. There were a whole heap of tents up ahead. Maybe someone there would be able to give her a lift out of this sandbox.

SMACK! Cammy and a tall male someone had just collided.

"Hey, watch where you're going!

"Terribly sorry. I'm Liam. You must be my new personal assistant. Welcome to the set of the Phantom Menace."

Cammy blinked. Could this be a mirage? Who cared?

"Oh my God, the force really is with me. Hi I'm Cammy and, yes, I am your new assistant."

Cammy hoped the real personal assistant was lost in a black hole somewhere or had fallen into the Sarlaac Pit.

"Did I ever mention that I really liked brunettes with excellent senses of humour? My shoulders are killing me and I could do with a massage.

"Really?" Cammy raised one of her eyebrows in Liam's direction. She knew where she wanted this to go but she needed to know more about what was running through the mind of her Jedi Knight in shining armour.

"You don't happen to know anything about massage do you?

Cammy thought for a moment and beamed a cosmic thank you in Sonia's direction.

"Yeah, I do know a little something about it and I also believe in giving as good as I get.

"Well then, you sound like a woman after my own heart."

Slipping his arm around Cammy's waist, Liam planted a kiss on the top of her head. As the trailer door closed behind them, Cammy thought a career in movie making could have more than a few advantages.

Freeze

Sonia looked at the screens where Frank was still trashing Daleks alongside K9. Frank and K9 were getting on rather well and Sonia wondered how K9 would get along with Rat and It.

Sonia handed Jaye a yellow rubber duck, with a hot pink beak and black sunnies.

"Why have you given me a rubber duck?" Jaye was really concerned for Sonia's well being now. Had she totally lost it?

"Just stand over there and trust me." Sonia grinned and started flipping switches again.

Play

Jaye closed her eyes and leaned back in the large sunken bathtub. This was sheer heaven. The candles, the bath oil and the music. - It really was a nirvana of the senses until…

Raaaachelll!" SPLASH!

The small rubber duck went from floating peacefully on the bath water to being launched across the candle-lit room. It eventually landed at the base of a wrought iron candelabrum.

"What the…" Jaye was wondering who had landed in her tub and was thinking about throttling Sonia until a very drenched Frank Holloway surfaced in the middle of her bath. 

"Fraaank!" Jaye squealed like a girl who had been given Barbie's dream house for her birthday.

"Hi Jaye ... Good to see …ah….all of you again. At least I'm not on that spaceship anymore. Where's Rachel?

Jaye shrugged and muttered something about Goldie catching up with an old friend. Frank looked around the room and down at his sodden clothes.

"I seem to have landed in your bath and have way too many clothes on." One of Frank's best points was a happy knack of stating the obvious.

"Well, I can't scrub your back while you're still in your jeans and shirt…so come here please."

Frank glided across the water to Jaye, who reached for the hem on his tee shirt with a satisfied grin on her face. The water turned cold a long time before Frank and Jaye even realised.

Freeze

Okay, Jaye's getting sudsy with Frank and everyone else seems to be having a fine time. Let's see if I can have a little fun myself.

ZAP! FLASH!

A king-sized bed covered in a fluffy white doona dominated the hotel suite. An island of pillows covered the rug near the roaring open fire. Also on the floor was an open bottle of red wine and a cheese platter.

So far, so pretty damn good thought Sonia as she curled up on the pillows and swiped a portion of brie. All this needs is…

Jack Christey walked through a nearby door, red wine glasses in his hand. His plain white dress shirt was untucked, top buttons undone and sleeves rolled to the elbow. Black pants completed the ensemble

Sonia started to purr – between this and Jack's intellect he should have been registered as a deadly weapon a long time ago. Jack walked over to the fire and joined her on the rug.

"Hi Jack."

"Hi yourself, care for a glass of red?

"Don't mind if I do" Sonia accepted the glass Jack handed her and settled back in his arms. 

Freeze

~~~~~~~

Sarah wandered into control room, hoping to catch up on the gossip with everyone and score a little more time with Mick. He was a nice bloke and Sarah wondered how he felt about spending some time in Tuscany.

"Hey no-one home! Bugger, I seriously wanted to dish some dirt with the girls. Let's see if this remote control works in reverse. If I tweak this dial here and flip a couple of these switches, I wonder….."

ZAP! FLASH!

Tom Paris surveyed the console room and noticed Sarah who was a study in concentration, activating the privacy screens for many of her friend's adventures.

"Oh wow! Tom, hi, I'm Sarah."

"Nice to meet you. You might be able to help me with something."

Sarah was thoroughly intrigued and wondered what sort of problem Tom Paris wanted her help in solving.

"What would be the best way for me to say thank you to the person who helped me write the Valentine's Day messages to B'Elanna last year?  


"Speaking of B'Elanna, where is she?" Sarah blushed at such a heady compliment.

"She's been stranded on a planet which had some rare ore samples that she needed. The transporter is malfunctioning as well."

A strange impulse overcame Sarah – she had wanted to do this for ages. Taking Paris in her arms, Sarah gave him the biggest hug she could and a friendly, oh, so chaste kiss. 

It wasn't enough for either of them as the kiss soon deepened to one with enough heat to melt through titanium. Sarah's hands traced every inch of his body – memorising the sensations and feel of well honed muscle to be replayed later. Paris was busy as well with his elegant fingers tracing Sarah's face and dancing across her closed eyelids.

All too soon, Paris had to be beamed back to the holodecks and hallways of Voyager. In his place, there was the biggest bouquet of roses Sarah had seen. The blooms ranged from icy white and coral pink to a red so dark it was almost black.

Their aroma filled the room, enticing Sarah across to the transmission portal. There was a card bearing the inscription:

"Love, in all its forms, is the greatest power in the universe."

The End

Hey Sarah, the next instalment is all yours! Happy time travels!


End file.
